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Author Topic: It is five weeks today......  (Read 7079 times)
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Jiliebeane
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« on: February 18, 2013, 12:39:55 PM »

I can't believe it has been five weeks today since I  had to put Bailey to sleep, I am struggling so much, and miss him terribly. When does this get better? I have had to put three dogs down, but this is the worst. I don't know if it is because I am so much older now. I am still finding things of Bailey's in the house, and I still can't watch dog commercials either, or I start to cry. I remember all the good times, too, but then I know he isn't here any longer, and I get so upset. This is so hard. I think too, the way it happened, not that there is a good way or time, but he suffered so, and I still have that in my mind...plus he was only 7 yrs. old.
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darwinsmom (Chris)
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« Reply #1 on: February 18, 2013, 12:56:12 PM »

I haven't been in your position, but I would think 5 weeks would still be pretty early to be over it. I would imagine it would take closer to a year to be over the worst of it, but you'll always remember Bailey. It just won't be so raw with time.
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Katrinka (Catherine)
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« Reply #2 on: February 18, 2013, 01:54:07 PM »

{{hugs}} It seemed like it took forever, after I lost Buddy. A year sounds realistic. I know that I cried daily for the first 2-3 weeks, and often for a long time after that. Finding his things around the house was so hard - but it took a long time before I could box them all up and put them away.

I still have times when I think of him and miss him, felling sad. And still anger about the whole thing.
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~*~ Catherine, missing her little Buddy   fluffangel , but now I have two new best friends!  fluffbop
         
BellasMommy (Kelly)
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« Reply #3 on: February 18, 2013, 02:47:30 PM »

It took me a long, long time to feel normal again after I lost my childhood dog, Skippy. I cried all the time. With Bella, I have a much closer relationship, so I will probably need heavy medication and therapy to go on. I honestly can't even think about it.

I hope you are doing okay overall and that it helps to have so many BCA friends who understand how you feel. It will get easier with more time. comfort
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barofgold (Paula)
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« Reply #4 on: February 18, 2013, 04:48:36 PM »

 I'm Sorry! You are still hurting, I imagine losing a beloved pet is just like losing a human relative or close friend  Hug which in my experience can take ages, so a year does sound about right, but the tears will still flow at times - I know they do for me, on anniversaries, birthdays and the like  embrace

I hope that by being able to share on here will help ease the way for you  embrace
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Thank you Del Smiley
Freedom (Sandie)
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« Reply #5 on: February 18, 2013, 04:52:48 PM »

You've experienced other losses in your life, so nothing I say will be new to you.  How we deal with a loss depends on so much: where we are at in our own lives, the relationship with had with the loved one who has gone, the circumstances surrounding the passing, the age of the loved one, and so many more things.  We not only experience loss differently from one another,  I find I experience loss differently at different times and not just because I had a closer bond, or didn't love one as much -- that is not it at all.  

So be kind to yourself, let your self work through the grieving process.

I've lost pets and not even thought about adding one for over a year.  I've lost pets and added one in 3 weeks.  It doesn't mean I loved one more or less, nor that I am a hart hearted SOB.  It is just the stage of my life I am at.  I am well imagine seeing a dog food commercial on TV sets you off; that is normal, do not worry that you are 'odd' in any way.  Dog people, pet people, think very differently on this compared with folks who've never known the love of a pet -- so don't let them get to you, either.  We understand, here on BCA, so feel free to stop in any time.

Sending you cyber hugs.   kiss2
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Andrea
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« Reply #6 on: February 18, 2013, 11:37:53 PM »

I do not think that 5 weeks is a long time and of course you are still grieving.  Bailey was a part of your life and he will always be in your heart.  Bailey is a close as a memory.  Be kind to yourself -sending big hugs to you.
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bKay, Bullett & Coco
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« Reply #7 on: February 18, 2013, 11:50:04 PM »

I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now.   When I lost my Westie I couldn't bare it. I am divorced and live alone so coming home without him here was terrible.  I think a lot of it was due to spending the past 2 yrs having to adjust my life around him and his diabetes with meals, activities and medical issues that when he was gone, I had such a hole left.  2 weeks later I went to the local shelter to look at a Westie mix who ended up having NO WESTIE in him what so ever and found Bullett.  Made a HUGE difference. He had his own set of problems which took up that big empty hole in my schedule.  Figuring out how to correct all the wrongs done to Bullett in the past filled my thoughts with something other than mourning Elliot.    I never thought I'd love another dog as much as I did my Elliot but I do.  They are opposite breeds so there is no way I can even compare them.  Maybe you should visit your local shelter.     comfort
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EDDEL
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« Reply #8 on: February 19, 2013, 12:33:28 AM »

Jill, I don't know what to say to make you feel better.  I know you're hurting, and I feel so sad Crying for you.  If I have photos of Bailey angel (ie. photos you've posted on the forum), I would make a memorial video for you.... as I think it always helps to look back on how (well & happily) they lived.  Someone wise said dwell not on their death, but celebrate their life (it's a saying I read somewhere).   May the memories of the wonderful time you spent with Bailey angel comfort you during this difficult time.  Feel free to post here anytime.... we're all here for you. grouphug

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Carol
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« Reply #9 on: February 19, 2013, 11:16:37 AM »

I can understand how difficult the past 5 weeks have been for you. When your  fluff has a disease such as diabetes, every decision you make is critical and you are constantly questioning whether or not it is the best thing for your fluff. I remember how hard you were trying to help Bailey, you were such a good Mommy and he was a very lucky little boy. They say time is a great healer, so I hope in time, when you have memories of Bailey, it puts a smile on your face.
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MattiesMom (MaryEllen)
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« Reply #10 on: February 19, 2013, 01:31:29 PM »

It takes a long time to heal from such a loss.  As time passes you will find that you get emotional less and less.  But you will still fill up once in awhile when a reminder hits you.  It has been 7 years since my Missy passed and every once in awhile I will "see" her sitting up for a treat or sleeping, curled up on a chair.  It still hurts when a she "walks" through my memory.  So, I can't promise your pain will go completely away, but time will lessen it and reduce its impact.  Peace to you, honey.  You have my prayers.
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Alison
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« Reply #11 on: February 19, 2013, 07:35:46 PM »

Its such early days and it shows how much you love him.One day you will think of him and smile at the memories.Until then just be patient and kind to yourself.

We are always here for you.Alison
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Jiliebeane
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« Reply #12 on: April 03, 2013, 03:55:58 PM »

There are days that Bailey's passing hits me so hard, this is one of them. I thought I would be getting better with time, but it is still hard not having him here with me. Every day I think of him, remember the good times, but also, I am not at that place yet. . A lot of people don't understand, so I keep it inside. I wish this never happened to Bailey and it seems it is so raw yet.
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Katrinka (Catherine)
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« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2013, 04:16:05 PM »

 comfort {{hugs}}

It sounds absolutely horrible to admit - but I cried more and longer when I lost Buddy than when I lost my mom.
It's been three years now, and I still miss him...
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~*~ Catherine, missing her little Buddy   fluffangel , but now I have two new best friends!  fluffbop
         
Lin
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« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2013, 05:32:06 PM »

Some of us are just criers I think, I know I am. I still cry if I see a picture of our last dog, or if we share stories about her. Sadly I still feel guilt as we had to put her down, not that we could have done anything to help her, but her final days were just so sad.
Your bad days will become fewer and farther between, but Bailey will always hold a soft spot in your heart.  comfort I'm sorry you're having a bad day.
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Thank you Alison!
Alison
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« Reply #15 on: April 03, 2013, 05:46:10 PM »

I'm sorry you are having a bad day.They will get easier and fewer with time.I'm glad you came here to share with us.Come back whenever you need to.Alison
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Susan J
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« Reply #16 on: April 03, 2013, 07:30:20 PM »

 comfort   I think a lot about my first pet,  a cat that was my alter ego for 17 years.  The pain does lesson and happy memories dominate eventually.  Hang in there.   

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Thanks Del
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« Reply #17 on: April 03, 2013, 09:34:44 PM »

It takes time - I know that sounds cliche, but it is so true.  You just have to wade through and work through the grieving.

I'm sorry.  Sending you hugs.
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« Reply #18 on: April 09, 2013, 07:06:27 PM »

For someone who lost our Bichon last year I know what you must be feeling. I can only say that as time passes it become easier to accept the loss. We have another Bichon now but she (Pippi) is not a replacement for Coco but a new "best friend".
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